Ten-year-old: “Ew! Ew! Ew! EW!!”
Six-year-old: “What happened? Oh. I licked your nose. Sorry.”
Six-year-old: “Your brain’s the size of a chicken’s hip.”
Ten-year-old: “Yours is as useful as a country-style bean.”
Ten-year-old: “Want to superglue stuff?”
Ten-year-old: “We’re all going to die someday. You’re going to die… I’m going to die… Dad’s going to die … Jasper’s going to die…” (Here's Jasper just playing dead.)
Ten-year-old: “Stop it! Stop it!”
Six-year-old, singing happily: “Poke! Poke! Poke!”
Ten-year-old: "Mom! He's annoying me!"
Six-year-old: "No I'm not!"
Ten-year-old: "Yes you are!"
Six-year-old: "I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!"
Ten-year-old: "That was annoying."
Six-year-old: "Mom! She's confused!"
Conversations I’ve actually had recently:
Six-year-old, about his sister: “She pushed me!”
Me: “Are you ok? Why would she do that?”
Six-year-old: “I know! I was just trying to kick her!”
We’ve got six long days until school begins. Wish me luck.
What's the scariest thing you've ever heard come out of your children's mouth?
How about the funniest?